Wednesday, September 28, 2016

In the Middle


So your child receives a diagnosis.  And with the diagnosis you get an outline of what your child's life will probably look like.  All those stages of development aka The Milestones.  You pretty much expect the worst sort to speak, your doctor says there will be absolutely, positively delays in your child.   Seeing typical children the same age as your child doing all these new things and your child is months behind is pretty damn hard.   There is no doubt that you will feel some sort of emotion, and some degree of sadness will set in.
But what if your child with special needs is not following this new outline? The shock and amazement are the emotions you feel.  You can't help but let the world know what your child is doing as you were told everything they wouldn't do and never were told what they could do.
But then where do you fit in?
Ronin is 2 years old.   He has been following more of the typical milestone timeline rather than the Down syndrome timeline.  And in his 2 years, its always been on the back of my mind. Why?

When you're child is doing all these new things when you weren't expecting them there are two reactions.  They may go in the order or not. For me they did.

1. You want the entire world to see that a diagnosis doesn't define a person.  So you post it all over the place of what your child is doing.  Mainly for people that do not know about your child's syndrome or illness, so you can squash any misconceptions.  You want to show proof that your child is more alike than different then other children.

2.  You start to realize that the entire world you are posting to also had children like yours.  Some may be following that diagnosis timeline and are really struggling.   Do I stop posting? Do my shares provide encouragement? You walk on tip toes about what you share now.



 It's really hard being in the middle of both the special needs and typical community.  Your child looks different so typical parents don't understand that he CAN do  exactly what your child is doing. And then your child is with his peers and is walking around pushing a toy and you secretly wish he wouldn't just until we left the class.   It shouldn't feel like this, so the loneliness creeps in ever so slowly.  You really have to push through this.


I'm reminded that each and every child is unique.  I doubt any child has a clue or will ever remember those milestones that we ever so look forward to.  It is all about our own personal emotions as parents.   We all just want our children to be happy, healthy and included. But in the end we hope our children will see themselves as we see them.











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