After declined prenatal tests due to my age, my other typical pregnancies and a 20 week ultrasound that would only reveal a healthy baby boy ,which made 3 boys for my husband and I, when the pediatrician suggested Ronin might have Down syndrome four hours after he was born, it was quite a life shock.
After spending a week in the NICU with temperature and blood sugar issues, a pinch of jaundice and also getting his preliminary karyotype back that indeed reveal he did have an extra chromosome, we got to go home but what was next? I did know a little bit about Down syndrome. My cousin who lives in Vietnam also has Down syndrome. I never really understood it though as a child, as I just saw his pictures and knew he looked a little different. I immediately hopped on the social media and internet train, trying to find out everything I could about Down syndrome. What should we expect? How long will he live? How will society react to him? The first few months were hard. Lots of tears, mainly about the uncertainly to all my questions. I reached out to my local support group and I met some other moms in person. I was really was blown away by all the support I had found. It really filled in a lot of the holes of a sadness that would creep in ever so casually and still makes an appearance even now. I might always mourn the son I thought I was going to have but every single day I overcome that with the love I have for my son who is perfectly him. Our story can only be written each day, there is no skipping to the end. We try to live only in the "today" the best we can.
The love for Ronin is immeasurable. I get to look into the eyes of a miracle every single day, who can say that? The best piece of advice I received in the early weeks is to enjoy your baby. That's all he was, he was my baby. Like all babies, he grew and he grew and now is a busy little two year old. He loves Elmo, loves to swing at the playground, cries when he doesn't get his way and looks for me to comfort him when he falls down. He doesn't eat his vegetables, loves his brothers with his whole heart and can lip sync to Bohemian Rhapsody. He really is more alike than he is different but also as unique as they come.
He has taught us to appreciate every little detail in our story called life. We all have our own story, and yes his may have a few extra pages. The extra doctor appointments, the extra therapy, the extra school meetings, the extra help he will need but the pages are also filled with the extraordinary things he will do in his lifetime, to show the world that different does not equal less. We thank God everyday for Ronin and for the plan that He has for him.
Psalm 13:14
"You are Fearfully and Wonderfully made"
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